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VS
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Republican party's #1 candidate.
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#1 position in the U.S. breath mint category.
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Comes in only one flavor: bullshit.
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Comes in six flavors.
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Promotes tax cuts.
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Promotes tooth decay.
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Has about 20% body fat.
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Only 1 and 1/2 calorie.
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Causes unprecedented world-wide support to turn against the U.S. with
inflammatory rhetoric and borderline imperialism.
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Just sits there.
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Cost: $400,000 per year.
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Cost: 92 cents.
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Has 0 mg sodium when he's not choking to death from a salted
pretzel lodged down his throat.
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0 mg sodium.
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Can keep a straight face while condoning plagiarism and forgery.
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Long lasting fresh breath.
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Has a brother named "Jeb;" possibly the dumbest name ever, next to "Arod."
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Rhymes with "nick-nack," which is almost as stupid as "Jeb."
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