Step Mom - You know.. every once in a while,
there comes a movie that's so shitty, you have to wonder how anyone can
capture the essence of shit so well. This is one of those movies where
you just say "Oh damn.. not another movie by that hag Julia Roberts.."
when you see the commercials. What the hell were they thinking? Kids?
Moms? Nobody wants to see kids and moms. I go to a movie to see one
thing: ass kicking. What ever happened to good movies like Army of
Darkness and Rambo? This new generation of movies is creating a nation of
nancy boys and people who are afraid to be a little politically incorrect.
Oh, and the music they play on the commercial is the worst.
Ever After - I don't have any friends that
have seen this movie. I will never have any friends that have seen this
movie. I hate this movie. That evil cinderella bitch. What kind
of jackass makes a movie
about "the will of a woman"? The will of a woman? What the hell is the
will of a woman? Actually, I'm not sure if they said that during the
promotions. But they said something like that, I think. Okay, even if
they didn't, they probably would have. Those jerks. The advertisements for
the movie shows Drew Barrymore (sp) jumping into a river or some other
such bullshit, while they play some ass ambient nature-techno in the
background (I think it's Enya or Enigma), the kind of shitty music that
hippies and feminists listen to while they burn incense and read poetry
about trees and earth spirits. Who the hell do they think they are?
Titanic - I hate it plenty, Click here.
That Thing You Do - I almost forgot about
this shit factory. It's one of the worst movies I've never seen. What a
shitty concept for a movie.. whatever it's about. It's probably stupid.
It has music in it, so it can't be good. When will people learn? Nobody
wants to see a bunch of losers dancing and singing. We want to see death.
Violence. Murder. The decay of western society. We want to see it all,
and we want it to be gross. If it's not offensive, it's just not. Not
fun. Boo.
Dark City - This one looked like one of those
movies with lots of hype, but nothing happens in the movie. Literally
nothing. My friends are suckers for these types of movies. I heard it
sucked, and I'm glad I didn't see it.
More to come..
You've Got Mail - No. I will never see this
movie, ever. That guy.. I forgot his name.. the shit-head. And her.. I
hate her. Stupid. I'm sick of all these "feel good" movies these days.
I wonder if anybody actually feels better after seeing one of these movies,
or if they try to convince themselves that they do, just so they can cope
with the fact that they've wasted their time.
277,646 people think I have an unbiased, objective and fair review of
movies.