It took me literally 20 minutes to write that last paragraph because everything else about this movie was shitty, except for the special effects, which aren't as impressive as they used to be. There's something about seeing "bullet-time" special effects in Lebanese music videos that doesn't make it cool anymore.

The dialogue is tacky, not unlike a pregnant woman in a bathing suit (unless you're into that sort of thing, in which case you might find the dialogue strangely erotic). For example, any time a character asked the question "what do you want?" It was always answered with "the same thing you want." The pain you suffer during this movie registers somewhere between being jack-hammered in the face and having scissors jammed into your urethra:

I just remembered how boring this movie was and it's pissing me off. Then this dumb bitch sitting next to me kept getting excited and yelling at the screen "close the hatch, close the hatch!!! Don't let it get you!!!" Thanks moron, I'm sure the actors on screen will take note of that, because they're not just beams of light shot through a shitty projector in a shitty theater in shitty Utah. They should have called this movie The Matrix: Stupid Boring Dog Shit Part III. I give my word to retract 100% of my statements about this movie if the DVD is subtitled "stupid boring dog shit part III." It'll never happen.