I'm better than everyone. I kick ass at everything. The other day, someone cut me off on the freeway, so I sped up beside him and I rammed him off the road. Nobody is as good as I am.

Some people think I'm conceited. Oh well.

All my friends think I'm better than they are. Sometimes my friends ask "so how come you rule so much?"

One time I decided to play basketball, but I suck at basketball so I lost. Just kidding, I kicked everyone's ass because I'm the best.

I own everyone at everything. There's no use in trying to be as good as me because it's impossible. There aren't enough words to describe how good I am.

I love me.

910,095 people aren't as good as me.

Back to how much I rule... • New Book • Store • Email • Patreon • • Tweet