Every time I hear anyone talking about a David Lynch movie, they always say "it was a pretty good movie, but I didn't understand it." Repeat that last sentence out loud to let it sink in. They liked the movie, but they didn't understand any of it. So essentially what they're saying is that they just like to see the moving pictures.

I can just imagine those drooling idiots watching Mulholland Drive: "wow.. this is a great movie... I wonder if I can find any crayons to chew on." Then after the movie is over, they flock to some coffee shop to get a $10 cup of tea so they can have a satisfying intellectual conversation about the movie that they didn't understand. If it's not the coffee shop, then it's at school or at work. They stand around with their dumbass friends trying to decipher the movie like there's some deep meaning or hidden message to it. News flash: there's no deep meaning or hidden message BECAUSE DAVID LYNCH IS INSANE.

I had the misfortune of being suckered into seeing Lost Highway a long time ago, and I woke up this morning remembering how much that movie pissed me off. When I was about 10 years old, I remember riding my dirt bike up a big jump at my house, flying high in the air, sliding off my seat and racking myself in the nuts on the support bar. To this day, I don't know which is more painful: watching Lost Highway or landing on my nuts from six feet.

186,663 idiots pretend to have some deep understanding of shitty David Lynch movies.

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